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Moments Together: Involving our children in everyday life

I witnessed something last week that reminded me of the time we spend with our children, and the importance of everyday moments. While at the counter of our family's favorite pizza place, waiting for our order be ready to go, I noticed a girl and their parents enter the restaurant and sit down. The girl was probably five years, and she smiled at me in their wake. My pizza took a while, so I had the opportunity to get up and see this family out of the corner of eye.

They sat together in a cabin, the girl with her father before his mother. After ordering your drinks, both parents immediately withdrew their cell phones. The father was pressing the phone to your ear, think I hear your voice messages. The mother was playing with the buttons on your phone while watching the screen. I saw that she was there in silence, looking around the restaurant, then returned to their parents. He took a sip his glass intermittently, has launched the shoes, then again, after delivering the lenses to his mother to have them cleaned. His mother your time enough to clean the lenses with a towel, then quickly focuses on the phone again. The only time I've seen parents take a break from their interactions with mobile phones was when the waiter came to take your order. When the server left the table, cell phones were again on hand.

I've seen this go to the 15 minutes while I was waiting for our pizzas, and the same scenario that had not been completed leaving the pizza restaurant in the hand. There a part of me that wanted to go to the table, have cell phones, and that parents see their child. This, coupled with a lecture on the importance of relationships and engagement in the development of children, which made me feel much better! I resisted the urge, however, and instead of thinking sad commentary on our society and how we define "spend time" with our children.

These parents may be wonderful in many ways. I have no idea who they are or how they live his life, except what I saw this series of moments in the pizzeria. What I know about this limited observation, however, is that they were consumed with themselves to these moments that missed an opportunity. Unable to attend her daughter, but apparently invisible to them, was there at the same table. Although they spent time together, time is empty of meaning and connection. He was the epitome of being together, yet completely alone and isolated from each other.

"Together" This scenario can be defined as physical existence in the same place at the same time time. It was a package that includes the connection of mind, emotions, thoughts and ideas. His version of "everything" would be eligible to win multitasking, but fails miserably as an effort to raise a competent court thoughtful, emotionally healthy children. I wonder if this child is perpetually disappointed by this kind of experience with their parents, excited to spend time in general, only to be disappointed by the abandonment. Or is so used to being isolated in their "living together" which is how he came to consider the relationship with parents and others? Anyway, sad to think of a child of this experience, and yet I know there are so many children face every day the same thing.

Spending time with a child should include much more than being the same place at the same time. We all have many times of the day, when we are with our children, but not really committed to them. It's par for the course of parenting, we can not spend every waking moment fully engaged and connected with them. However, if the majority of our time together is dedicated to multiple tasks, half listening, and hardly does more than meet the requirements, we must stop and consider how they really have been spending time with our children. The time we spend with our children should not be exciting or complex to be significant. Here are some ways to encourage participation in the everyday moments of living:

1. Get the most out of "Out and About" moments
If according to the store, sitting in a restaurant, or drive the car together, there are times when the day started with our children. These days provide excellent opportunities to take advantage of a captive audience (his children are there with you, and really can not not go / do anything) and connection with your child. Speaking of things that both are waiting later in the day or week, making up stories together, playing "I Spy", a color image on the back of the cloth, um songs favorites, or do only the faces to each other! Enjoy those moments where you are physically with their children to stay together mentally and emotionally as well.

2. Create simple moments
Building and maintaining relationships with our children can be so infinitely small and simple. Sometimes adults be swayed by the idea that bigger is better, and that to have quality time with our children, we must put aside much of their time and do something exciting. Most often, simple is better when it comes to our children! Take a walk around the block, read a book, throw a ball back, or take a snack and soil like a picnic. These things may seem to us particularly, but for children who bring a very important and allow us to be together and connected with them.

3. The moments
There are many things we have to do in a day or a week, and the list of most people "to do" about of the house include things like cleaning and gardening. How many times we let our children do something else, like watching television while we tend to these tasks? Spending time with children in these tasks offers many opportunities for participation at multiple levels, which allows us to think, communicate, socialize and share emotions with others.

4. Stop and listen times
We want our children to listen to what we have to say, but with How often we take the time to listen to them? It is unrealistic to think that you can always be 100% attentive to our children tell us. However, if we are constantly in a multi-tasking mode while talking, so you lose the opportunity to be connected to them. Take a moment and really listen to the sad story of what happened in the playground, or the most recent draft of art. Be physically, mentally and emotionally committed to their children in these times, regardless of memory, they can be.

Time spent with our children is precious. Time together may be significant or isolation, and in any case a significant impact on our children. Recognizing the importance of intimate moments everyday to further our relationship with our children is essential for their social, emotional and cognitive development. We can not be so involved in our lives to ease physical error of solidarity that creates and maintains a link to us. Involve our children while we are in and about the tasks performed, walk, or stop to listen allows us to maximize time we have together.

About the Author

Autism specialist Nicole Beurkens, founder and director of the Horizons Developmental Remediation Center, provides practical information and advice for families living with autism and other developmental disabilities. If you are ready to reduce your stress level, enrich your child’s development, and improve your family’s quality of life, get your FREE reports now at ==> www.HorizonsDRC.com

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